Wet Knickers

A massive New Year’s outbreak of knicker wetting in Osgodby spread throughout the District and affected some people in Hemingbrough.  Like a highly contagious virus, it spread like wildfire and sufferers had to take to their beds.  It was very similar to the norovirus in that it was accompanied by vomiting.  As there was no specific cure, resident’s had to let it run its course over a couple of days, drinking plenty of fluids while the aches in their sides subsided.

   

One local lady remarked that it was a particularly unpleasant experience, but it wasn't thought to be dangerous.  Everyone recovered within a couple of days without having to see a doctor.  Professional advice was to stay at home and don't go near the Parish Council for a while. 

(Recent publicity from the 'Selby' Times' & 'Selby Post. These dinosaurs even look the same relics of bygone days)

The cause of the outbreak is alleged to have been sitting through the early January Barlby and Osgodby Parish Council meeting where a majority faction of political friends and allies of our own Strelczenie councillor and ex-councillor still rule the roost.  Their ‘Labour Group’ Chairman’s Opening Remarks made it painful to contain the almost irresistible urge to burst out laughing which increased pressure to exploding levels in the nether regions. 

It is reported that Chairman Marshall, him of the weak, squeaky voice, screeched at everyone that he was going to have respect.  ‘I am going to have respect!!!’, ‘I am the Chairman and Leader of the Council and I am going to have some respect’ were accompanied by his usual finger jabbing and table thumping.  ‘I am treated with the utmost respect at County and at Selby District Council.’ 

The pressures were heightened by the whispered asides from those who have seen Marshall in those chambers, where he is subject to the usual rules and the inmates have not taken over the asylum.  One is alleged to have whispered, ‘Respect? Didn’t his Council ask the Police to patrol the January Parish Council meeting?’

Apparently, Chairman Marshall then led his own majority band of willing hand-raisers to agree a 15% increase in the precept to fund ‘Barlby Town Hall’ that may open one day a week after the Hilltop Library is closed by North Yorkshire County Council and will take many years and much money to be converted to an occasional community centre. His earlier agreement to consult residents again about his scheme seems to have been dumped in the pot.

Barlby and Osgodby Parish Council is a dire reminder of the dark days of the Hemingbrough Parish Council 2007–2011 when Strelczenie strutted his stuff on the Mole Hill and on the last bus from Selby on a Saturday afternoon after failing to emulate Chairman Marshall and gain access to a wider political stage.